Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
