Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
True but thats because hes a fetus.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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