I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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