I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
