i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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