How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
