thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just invented taco cereal.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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