Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I bet he comes in French.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
