playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
