Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
