3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
