So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
