i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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