my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
