Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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