A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
