Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
