Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize