After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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