it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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