my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
