i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
