I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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