This is not my ceiling
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
