do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
