WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
