Welp...herpes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
