Will you blow on my dice?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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