How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
