I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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