I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
