Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize