somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
