Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
