just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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