walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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