I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
