i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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