just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
