Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
