ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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