I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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