I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
