And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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