There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
