weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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