fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
