you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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