so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
