I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
