You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
