Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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