So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
