This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
