I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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