omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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