Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"