They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
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I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan