I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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